The Kebilsphere

Suicide.

What a sinister name, the word sounds like a scapel through flesh.

What do I know about suicide?
Far too much

My wife and best friend ever commited suicide. She made several attempts before she went from pills and booze to a handgun, and not many people make multiple attempts with a handgun.

I was lucky in that I did not see her put a hole through, she did that in front of her dad, at her parents place.

And I know of nothing so jarring, so painful, as surviving suicide. Being the person left after a loved one takes her life hurts like all the pain the suicidee was feeling that drove her to it.

Oh my god Di, do you know how big of a hole you have ripped in my heart. Of course not, because you are not around. And as callous as it makes you seem, I tell people that you always said you did not care about that part because you would never witness it. I usually think that that was one way you rationalized the act.

That is all I can write for now, it hurts to much tonight

We are so quick to overlook our own monstrosity, and so quick to remember the horrors inflicted by other nations.

Think of it - Vietnam, 3 million dead. Among those, about 60 000 American soldiers. The rest - Vietnamese soldiers and civilians. Whose side were the Americans fighting on? Obviously not on the side of the Vietnamese.

This fact implies that while there were not official slaughterhouses or a stated mission of killing all the Vietnamese, it sure implies that in practice, it was genocide.

There’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you
Something I want to say
But it would be mean to call you
And thank you for going away

Since you left me
Everyday has been better
I don’t remember what I thought you were giving me
But I don’t miss it at all

So thanks for the good memories
I will cherish both of them
And thanks for walking away from me
You really were not a good friend

that was close, I thought something had changed in the universe, my luck had turned against me and the mechanics of it had changes. Racking the clip across the teeth, again and again, all the while leaning clockwise, I could hear tumblers dropping in the background, but nothing, the just bounced around, the would not stop. I tried for three times one quarter, and I was getting no further around the circumfrence. Finally, desperate, I went the other way, and instantly everything snapped into it’s correct place, as if by magic. I was sure that this was the same problem as the first time, and I was so absolutely sure that I was doing it the corrected way, not the way I did it the first time back when during the first time. Ah yeah, whatever. All is good now