The Kebilsphere

Lately I have been lapsing backing into those days
Those old ways
Tried and true, perfectly fitting, a fit perfected
Revisiting history, strolling down through the memories
Reconstructing a personal narrative reiterated
Reliving memories of self-destruction
Trying to understand this Thanatos,
Harnessing the dangerous drives within

Trying to forge a new pathway
Through the dense bush that is my future
It is so much easier to travel the trails
Than to venture into the overgrowth of unknown territory
It is easier to go down paths that I know where they lead
Than to set down tracks anew, to a destination unknown

I mean, I can pick a destination and head towards it
But without an accurate map or the
Lack of a guide whatsoever
The route to the end in question so uncertain
I may be headed towards a hidden chasm
Or may end up on the edge of a thicket of thorns impassable
The shores of a river uncrossable
And sometimes the long way there is the only way that is possible

So as to not ring alarm bells, all I admit to is that…
Time can be slow to go by
Time so slowly slips by, but
The minutes and hours, soon days and weeks
Then months and years and decades quietly build up
Until there is more time behind than ahead.
Sometimes I wonder if it is not better
To just stay where I am at