The Kebilsphere

It seems like all my life I have been
looking for something,
somebody,
somewhere

I’ve been looking searching
screaming
scouring
so hard to find some…

…the more I look, the harder I have tried

              the more often I come back to where I first left off from
trying to figure out where I am trying to get to

And I accumulate nothing 
shattered visions of crystal clear futures

dreams that dissappear upon awakening

pain deep inside
agony so deep I laugh when I tug on the root of it at all

I have lost so much, and yet I never had all that much to start off with

I still have myself

Maybe my journey is not to find
          something else,
                 somewhere else,
                       some place,
                          some time,
                               some anything

maybe it is to find nothing else

To find nothing else, but me, not even me

Might I, until then, just keep trudging along these same byways, sideways

Losing bits of myself along the way…
     pieces lost
          pieces sold
              pieces stolen
                  pieces given away or pawned

I think the answer will come, not when I have figured out the question, or found someone to answer it

                    I am to keep moving onwards, losing bits of me along the way

until I have nothing left to lose or gain

and then I will have found

myself